The Dream

舞者之夢

 

I was dancing before there was a dance.

 

When the body has not moved,

the mind already dances in dreams.

 

The dream of dancing,

is fulfilling a dream of being.

It whispers to my ear at every corner of the road,

calling me,

home.

 

Why do you dance?

 

I ,

would like to manifest,

through this body.

 

For this deep passion,

I,

dance.

開始舞蹈前

舞已存在

 

身體未動

意識已在夢裡舞動

 

舞者之夢

探索早已存在的夢想

舞者之夢

在所有遠離夢想的路口深深勾引、聲聲召喚

回家、回家

 

為什麼而跳?

為什麼而舞?

 

渴望與的身體相處

以身體實現夢想

             

為這份深深的愛躍動

 


Who am I

 

Trained in Taiwan with a Qi Gong master for 10 years, where it has become a practice for life and an endless resource for movement research. Graduated from The School of the Art Institute of Chicago and received B.F.A. in 2008. As an artist, in the last 7 years has worked with adult and children in developing long term projects that nurtures individual's artistic growth and spiritual wellbeing, by incorporating various approaches such as painting, drawing, movement, dance, play, writing and meditation. Currently living in NYC and training at the Martha Graham School of Contemporary Dance. 

 

Home

I was born in Taiwan, into a very loving family. My mother used to be a math teacher in high school. Later in her life after her retirement, she becomes a meditator. She is a very special woman, wise and open minded. She is my spiritual guide and friend. My father is an engineer. He knows about machines, the mechanics of machinery. He knows how to build a car. He also knows how to build a helicopter. One of his jobs was to design the engine for a helicopter. He said that was his favourite job among all, and he got to fly in the machines he built. Whenever I tell anyone that I grew up to be an artist and my little brother becomes a classical musician, they always ask me "Are your parents artists?" "No, they are not." But I think in some way, yes, because they are artists of life. If art takes a person on a journey to discovering the deepest potential and finding ways to express that creativity, their life story have been my inspiration to becoming who I am now.

 

Traveling Life

Traveling has always been a key element in my life. When I was younger, my parents often took my brother and I on trips, driving us around the island into nature, sometimes even took us overseas. My mother loved traveling, and my father travels frequently to many countries for work. I guess growing up with this makes me feel that moving here and there is not a big deal. I feel there is a bigger sense of the world that is beyond what I can perceive, and moving in this world is very natural.

I took my first solo trip when I was 14, to NewZealand for three months studying English. I lived in Christchurch in the south island on a hill near the ocean. Everyday when it was still dark, I would walk down the hill to go to school. As I was walking, the sun would rise. I would watch the sky changes colour slowly until it is completely daylight, then I would reach the bottom of the hill where the bus stop is to take me to school. Everyday, I got to watch the sunrise. And everyday after school, I would take the bus back to the bottom of the hill, then walk up to home. It was also the first time I learned about hitchhiking. Some students who lived on the top of the hill would sometimes ask for a ride from cars going up. One day, out of curiosity, I also did! On some days when coming home, I would get off the bus a couple of stops earlier or later, and go for a walk on the beach. There was no one else there, just me and the ocean. Sometimes I would stay for a long time, just being there, being in the quietness in the sound of waves.

The experience of traveling on my own at such a young age changed my life. I had the time to be alone. I enjoy the quiet times being alone, and in those times I have learned to be with myself. 

 

Eye Opening

When I was 12, I went backpacking one summer all over Europe with my mother's close friend and her family. She becomes my second mom later. I always call her "Mommy". At that time I didn't know what backpacking was, and backpacking was not so much a trend like nowadays. I was just asked if I would like to go on a trip with her, and I said yes. Now to think of it, it was a bit courageous of me to agree to go on a month long trip with someone I wasn't very close with in the beginning. And it was very brave of her to decide to bring a 12-year-old girl along. Before going, she brought an old backpack to me that fit my size, and told me to put some clothes and things I would need in there. Then we went. It turned out to be a truly eye opening journey.

We didn't travel with a lot of money. Sometimes we camped, sometimes we stayed in youth hostels, and occasionally we stay in small hotels. I remembered the first days when we camped in a small town in the U.K.. It was my first experience of camping, and in such a beautiful place. There was a small river that runs through the camping site with many willow trees next to it. And there is the fresh soft green grass, over that we set out our tent.

I remember the fresh clean smell in the air. I remember the wind blowing on the willow trees to make it dance. We went to the close-by shops to buy food, and then cook it with our little gas cooker. We watched the stars in the night, and before going to bed, hid our shoes so they wouldn't get stolen by the night animals. Our life was unlike anything I had experienced before. I did not know it was possible to live this way.

We met many travellers, families. I didn't speak any of their languages, but I guess we could feel each other without using many words. At that age, it's easy to play together. Language is not a barrier to stop us, because playing is universal. We met a dutch family in a camping site in France and later was invited to their home in the Netherlands. They showed us around the town and the school the daughter went to. Upon leaving, the daughter and I changed a gift. She gave me her little teddy bear. Since I was traveling and didn't have much with me, I gave her an Eiffel Tower key chain that I loved at that time. 

When traveling, I meet people who live very differently from myself. It is amazing to see. Sometimes, I would be invited to become a part of it, even just for a short period of time. I learn to respect different choices of life, different point of views. Life is broaden through this experience.


舞動人生

 

 

我以一輩子的時間,在「動」中認識自己。

 

你觀察過年幼的孩子嗎?他們很少乖乖坐在椅子上。

「動」是他們最自然的狀態。開心時,輕盈旋轉;興奮時,奔馳跳躍。

孩子的身體像一道電閃,流暢、敏銳,又燦爛飽滿。

 

你曾與浪潮玩追逐遊戲嗎?任潮水拍打、捲動身軀。

下一瞬間,當自己乘在浪上,你會發現分不清方向,你成為浪,成為海洋。

 

你曾臣服於一股力量嗎?

我臣服於一股「動」的渴望。

 

人,因心臟跳「動」而維繫生命;鵬鳥,展「動」翅膀而海闊天空。

這些與生俱來的本能,悄悄透露著生命最大的潛能。

 

「動」究竟來自何處?我閉上眼,傾聽身體,聽見那一股股騷「動」。

時而莫名,時而劇烈,未曾停歇。

是我的身體在吶喊?亦或在傾吐真實的情感?身體藏不住我是誰!

 

身體的存在,實現了「動」的渴望。

一陣陣微小騷「動」,肌肉收縮又延展,脊椎蜿蜒恰如蛇,將身體能量全然顯化。

它是最原始、抽象的舞。

我在「動」中認識自己。摸索、導引,直到賦予它溫度 、張力與重量。

我因它而蛻變,它因我有了生命。凝思、焠鍊、孕育著我的生命故事。


東方的身體

 

 

 

「太極」的圓,在身體裡如季節交替,週而復始,是永不中斷的旋律。

推手調息,道盡生命的起落。

「太極」沉靜、柔順、內斂、輕安,卻牢牢紮根。

 

氣功的「氣」,流動在肌膚、血液、骨子裡。「氣」是身體主人。

「氣」彷彿能量通道,穿透皮膚界線,延伸至周圍空間,與整個宇宙共振。

這是東方身體之美。細緻優雅。

 

過去八年,我利用課餘,跟隨老師學習氣功與太極導引。日積月累,不為考試或表演,只因熱愛。它是我的身體寶藏。有人問我:「年輕人都愛看電影、逛街,為什麼妳喜歡練氣功?」

 我享受氣功的圓融,靜中有動,動中還有更細緻的動,與終極的寧靜。我喜歡寧靜自處,全然投入覺察身體的能量,令人沉醉。彷彿是一條清澈河流正在身體裡,靜靜川流不息。

 


身體說話

 

 

協調的身體擁有超然的能力。當意識放鬆時,身體會自然調整,呈現絕佳彈性與進化。身體裡隱藏著一座神祕難測的心靈世界。

現代人對自己的身體「做」太多 ,因為恐懼身體不完美。但「做」太多,反而壓抑了身體原始具有的潛力。然而身體沒有不完美,只有對身體的不暸解。

每個身體需求不同。有人喜歡動,有人喜歡靜。傾聽身體,即便微小的訊息, 也都正訴說著身體需求,要吃飯,想睡覺,該休息了!順應它。身體不斷表達著我們維繫生命的需求,也透露著圓滿完成自我的線索,只要你願意傾聽。

你看過身體自然協調的樣貌嗎?我擁有柔軟的筋骨,身材不高卻有很長的腳掌。敏銳的感受力,經常被身旁的音樂旋律牽動,忘卻時間。每個人都是獨一無二。骨架、膚色、肌肉曲線、移動的體態、內在自我期許等。每一種身體都很美。但是身體也有失去平衡的時候,那是一種偽裝的藝術。

有一年夏天我病倒了,沒有食慾,情緒崩潰,身體逐漸失去力量,直到無法工作。找不出生病原因。偶然發現一個習舞機會。結果,報名後隔兩天病不自覺地痊癒。原來我需要大釋放,但是動得不夠,於是身體乾脆罷工。多麼固執的身體。我感謝它的誠實。

透過身體,我瞭解自己的使命。開始發展肢體,直覺與衝動是一串鑰匙,逐步為我開啟一扇扇憧憬與理想的大門。我開始行走於自己的道途。

 


練功獨舞

 

 

 

印度教濕婆神(Shiva)的「希瓦之舞」,以舞震撼世界。西藏女性修行者,在喜馬拉雅深山的巨石上獨舞,以舞祝福天地世人。而我關上房門「飆舞」進入心靈的狂想時空。我想像著所有舞者曼妙的舞姿,及所散發無限的心靈力量,觸及遠方,遍滿宇宙。

2012年,我開始發展創造性舞蹈。練氣打通了身體經脈,藉由意識導引,一股創造性直覺驅使我不停編舞。內化的肢體經驗傾巢而出,完全蛻變成新的創作元素。

每當音樂響起,身體彷彿化為烈焰,又如變幻莫測的風,我消融在一片炙熱的能量裡。狂亂舞動後,躺在地上,不記得舞步,身體由內而外被洗滌乾淨,清涼如水,感官清澈無比。

關上房門獨舞,維持兩年,沒有其他人,自己是唯一的觀眾。我享受流汗,享受肢體的動與靜,享受毫無保留地表達,全然投入跳舞已經讓我滿足了,沒有表演的必要。單獨,培養出我的定性,確信自己喜歡跳舞的單純與狂熱。

完全信任身體,編出的舞,古怪又奇特,也許不漂亮或完美,沒有外在的評價,學會忠於自己。此刻,再回顧閉門獨舞的時光,才發現那是多麼難得的過程。

舞,牽動人類的心靈世界!我熱淚盈筐。

 


與現代舞相遇

 

 

 

第一次走進現代舞教室就遇見瑪莎葛蘭姆技法(Martha Graham Technique)。相對於氣功與太極導引,葛蘭姆技法釋放出身體裡野性的力量,由核心沿著脊椎與四肢劇烈的爆炸開。我對這股力量徹底臣服。

那一年我23歲,剛從藝術學院畢業,在芝加哥從事藝術教育工作。有股莫名升起的舞蹈火苗,卻無法對任何人解釋清楚。它像野火燎原,至今沒有消退,而且愈演愈烈。葛蘭姆技法,對於初學者是很辛苦的。一連串的基礎動作,再再將肢體力道延展到極限,激盪的心靈喚醒我沉睡的感性,我不自覺地退去一層層理性的保護膜,找回毫無保留的原始的自己。練習過程中,我經歷一次又一次的死亡,又一再的重生。汗水裡充滿無言的感動。

越是困難我越想征服,結果發現我所渴望征服的,其實是自己。

葛蘭姆的自傳「血的記憶」(Blood Memory)裡,描述著舞者身體會經常不經意的漫溢出直覺與靈感。這些儲藏在我們血液裡的直覺與靈感,超越個人生活經驗、父母與祖先遺傳,是源於人類最深層的意識。我的血液裡有什麼樣的歷史?為何葛蘭姆的舞蹈深深觸動我?每一次練習,我又在血液裡烙印什麼樣新的記憶?

2009年離開美國的前兩個月,我參加紐約瑪莎葛蘭姆現代舞舞蹈學院(Martha Graham School of Contemporary Dance)的密集訓練。2014年夏天,再重回葛蘭姆學校習舞兩個月。潛伏多年,蓄積的舞蹈能量頓時舒展開。我心無旁騖聽著身體跟我對話,接收世界給我靈感,隨時隨地都在跳舞,走路、等車、坐著、站著、躺著都離不開舞蹈。我沈浸於舞蹈世界,以前所未有的速度成長。


舞道

 

 

 

我的舞「道」繽紛精彩,從小一路畫到美術班、留學芝加哥。

在美國五年,穿梭於豐富的藝術畫廊間,身處多元文化的薰陶,與世界各地同儕藝術家交流,但這多面向的經歷卻也開始讓我反思自己的身分定位。

我到底是誰?究竟為何存在?什麼能量滋養我?而我,能挖掘出什麼樣的獨特?分享給這個世界。

 

我找到自己的精神源頭,藉由東方氣功與太極導引,順勢走向釋放靈魂的肢體藝術,彷彿是某一天醒來突然發現自己是要來跳舞的。

發展肢體的狂熱,讓我從芝加哥跳到紐約,從紐約跳回臺灣、印度。

 

我跳出舞蹈教室,融入公園、海邊、街道,順其自然的盡情手足舞蹈。雖然不是科班舞者,但深信自己獨一無二的生命經驗,賦予了舞蹈靈魂。

 

在這條整合視覺、肢體與心靈藝術的生命舞「道」上,「我」舞動生命, 創造出最獨特的生命藝術,我創造自己。舞「道」改變了我。